Oh my…you don’t know how much I appreciate this. Thank you so much. I’m feeling better now, especially now that I know that I have followers like you that support me. I cannot tell you how much this means to me!
Meh. Today was exhausting; it’s been an emotional roller coaster. Found out some new information about a person I trusted… but whatever. I would love someone to message with and talk about it….hinthint…because I almost broke down in tears a LOT of times today. Had nothing to do with weight stuff, though, which was new for me.
I’m 115! Yay. Had to lie to my parents to skip dinner, but that’s okay. 115. If only I can now get past it, and STAY past it.
Thank you so much for your advice. I might actually tell her; I’m just worried that she won’t give me the support I need…I mean I know if I asked her to, she would, because like you said its kinda her job to, but I don’t think she’d fully understand or support me in it. She would say that she did,because she’s a good friend, but I know there would be some part of her that didn’t really understand.
As for your second part of advice…I can’t. I just can’t. You definitely don’t know my parents, hah ;) They are perfectionists in every way possible, and if they think for one second I am even thinking about losing weight, they will lock me up in a mental hospital for three months. My sister suffers from bipolar disorder and depression, and they definitely don’t need another screwed up kid, because I’m supposed to be the normal one.
And my moms suspicious already. She thinks the reason I became a vegetarian in November was to lose weight, which isn’t true at all. Back then I was happy with my weight - I didn’t even know nor care about the number on the scale. But she says “If I see a dramatic weight loss, you’re going to have to rethink your diet”. Yeah. Soooo I can’t tell either of my parents, because they’d be the least supportive people I could EVER go to.
But thanks so much for your message; you don’t know how much this means to me. I’m really considering telling her tomorrow, because of this. I hope she takes it well. Thank you!
This secret, this secret obsession with my weight; it’s killing me. It’s killing me that I have to make up excuses for why I don’t eat a lunch and then listen to skinny girls complain about being fat without punching their skulls in. Its killing me that I have to sneak into my parents bathroom every day to use the scale, that I’m so afraid I’ll get caught whenever I try to do crunches or pushups in my room. I just. Need. Someone. To know.
I’m contemplating telling my best friend tomorrow. I dont know how she would take it. But I can’t do this alone anymore; I need her to cry to when the numbers go up and my motivation goes down. I need her to just be there for me, but I’m afraid she’ll think I’m a freak for being so obsessed. And then she’ll hush say “oh, you’re not fat” and that’ll be all.
But that is not what I want. I know if I told anyone about what I’m dealing with, they will simply try and convince me that I’m not fat. And I know that - I know I’m not overweight, technically, but I still feel terrible about my body and it needs to change. I need someone to understand what I’m going through here.
Gahhh…. can’t decide if I should tell her or not. I don’t know…I just don’t know…
Today sucked and I’m fat and I’ll never get to 117 and I’m crying and I just want to sleep and never wake up. I just need someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay, that I’m going to get there, because right now my GW isn’t even in sight. Please, please message me. Please.
I’ll even do promos for people who message me with motivational words of encouragement. I’m just desperate right now.
God I’m so frustrated. God I hate myself. And god I want to be thin.
That’s it: no food tomorrow. None. Just…no. No food. At all. Just for a day. I need some self control.
But I’m really, really, really scared.
I love it!
No, I do not love my body. Not in the slightest. I hate everything about it, actually. My thighs are fat, my tummy is all flabby, my arms aren’t strong enough, etcetera. I don’t like any part of my body.
Because if I did “love my body”, why the hell would I be working so hard to change it?
Promoting self-acceptance is great and everything, but it is not motivational for weight loss. I’m not saying every size isn’t beautiful - because it is - but going around saying “love your body no matter what size” is kind of frustrating to those of us who know we aren’t the size we could be and want inspiration to get there.
I’m not judging body types; not at all. And encouraging women to be comfortable with their bodies is awesome, If they WANT to be comfortable with them. But if they are trying to lose weight like I am, loving the bodies that we know we need to change is not going to push us towards our goal weight; it’s going to slow us down.
That said, these posts I keep seeing are fabulous in general. Like if they were on a general, non weight loss blog I’d love them. It’s just a little bit pointless to see them in my personal situation, because me saying that I loved my body would not only be denial, but hypocritical: it’s contradictory to accept my body the way it is and then work so hard to change it.
Okay. Rant over. I’m so, so, sorry if I offended anyone, I just…this is how I feel. If I stepped out of line please tell me; I tried my best to remain respectful and diplomatic about it all. :P Anyways, love you followers, stay strong and get skinny!!
AND I’M 114.6!!! LIKE EXACTLY ONE POUND AWAY FROM MY LOWEST WEIGHT EVARRR. So pumped, I might workout a little more later. Cannot wait to see that 113 on the scale.
I wonder what her stomach looks like. Is it better than mine? Does she have a thigh gap? I wonder if her hipbones show. Probably. She’s so skinny. She probably weighs under 100. Wish I was that skinny. I can see her collarbones fr here. I bet she looks good in anything she wears. She’s so lucky she was born that way.
…I’ll never be that skinny.
I haven’t worked out, haven’t dieted - I’ve even stopped weighing myself, that’s how bad this is. I need to get out of this slump, because I REALY want to reach my first goal weight by my birthday in June.
I’ve even thought about closing the blog…
But anyways I am in need of some SERIOUS motivation. Please guys, send me some in my ask!! PLEASE
